Can kindness change our world ?



Is simultaneously gifting and receiving

There is a story I want to tell. It started before we, my daughter Saskia, her 2 year old son Nickolai and I went to Baltimore last spring
Maybe you know that we were going to Baltimore because Saskia, who was operated for cancer here in Denmark, needed some  further special treatment that she could only get “over there”.
We were asked to go there by her danish doctors and we had 4-5 days to get our self ready to travel.
There were lots of preparations and choices to make. Saskia was newly operated. None of us had any idea what the results of the operation was or what was ahead of us.  We just knew that we had to go for 2, maybe 3 month.
So we were busy. We were confused, worried. Saskia was tired.

And then one day !
I was on my way to Saskia to pack and arrange stuff, I got the idea of buying her a beautiful dress  A dress that she could enjoy wearing during all the treatments. A dress that could cheer her up.
So I went into a shop close to where she lives. I had never been there before. Just knew it would be a good place for me to get what I wanted.

As I came in the woman came to talk to me. She asked what I was looking for and I explained that I was looking for a beautiful summer dress for my daughter.  We looked around and the woman said. “ Oh you are going to some place where it warm for a holiday !”  

I told her that it was not really a holiday , that my daughter was diagnosed with cancer and that we were going for some special kemo and radiation treatment in Maryland.
There was a silence i the shop. Like no more to be said. I wasn’t sure if I should have said what I said and just stood there for a while. When I looked over at the woman I  saw tears running from her eyes. And then she said:
“ Would you please let me give her the dress ? “  
Her kindness made every little barriere in me disappear and all I could be, was being present while a wave of total gratitude filled me up. I answered:
“ YES that would be the greatest gift.Thank you so much ”   
We went to find the most amazing dress we could find. She wrapped up the dress beautifully and handed it to me. We were both crying and we hugged each other and I went home to Saskia with a present from a woman who she had never seen.
Can you imagine the joy of gifting it to Saskia, Her joy and totally surprise ?

That woman and the kindness she is, changed the journey for me. My worries got less and I made a demand of my self.
When there is such a kindness in the world I can be with what is showing up in my life right now and I can create something greater from there !
AND I will have more kindness in my life and what will it take to have more kind people in my life ?
( In Baltimore kind people did show up That is a story for another time!)

7 - 8 month later and back from Baltimore, Saskia and Nickolai and I went into the shop to meet the woman. I wanted to tell her that she changed my journey ( our journey ) that she made me acknowledge how much I actually enjoy kindness, enjoy being kindness, enjoy kind people.  It changed my world. I also wanted her to know that she has influenced all the people that I have told this story while we were in Baltimore and back here in Denmark. I wanted her to know that many amazingly kind people showed up and helped us while we needed it most.

Coming into her shop Nickolai went up to her with the flowers. She was confused. We asked if she knew why we were there. She didn’t. When I pointed to Saskia and said: “ do you remember a dress….this is my daughter” ….. she knew and she ran over to Saskia and hugged her and tears running and said: “I am so happy to meet you I am so happy you are here”  
Saskia told what it was like to receive a dress from a stranger. How amazing and wonderful and how she had been looking forward to meet her and to thank her.
Then we talked and enjoyed what we had created together
Weeks later I went to visite the woman again. I saw the shop was for sale. The woman told me that she actually had lost a lot of money. The shop wasn’t running the way she wanted. She told me how she had been struggling for 3 years to get it up running  and just lost more and more.
And then she said: The story you told me, about what giving you the dress created for all of you, made it all worthwhile !
How many possibilities can we allow to show up in the world when we are willing to be the kindness of gifting and receiving  ?


Eva Dalhoff